PHPM

About This Game

Ever wanted to date a Phone? Excuse me?! Shame on you! You can lie to me, y’know, but you CAN’T LIE TO GOD.

Dialtown is a dating sim where most people have phones for heads. Women have typewriters. Also, dogs have gramophones for heads. Aaaand, cats have keyboards. The list goes on. Yeah, I’m being serious right now. No, put that straitjacket away.

The game’s a visual novel where you wander around the town of Dialtown, seeking romance, all because you want someone to pay you into a funfair, all so you can find a dank pit in which to lay your eggs. Yeah.

There’s several dateable protagonists, from Karen, a bored bank-teller printer who’s extremely dissatisfied with her life and just wants to feel things again, to Randy, who juggles working as an operator for a local phone sex hotline and working as a bird-wrangler for animal-control.

Such is the life of Randy.

Anyhoo,

• A unique visual style compromised of real world photography, photo-realistic 3d models and 2d illustrations.
• Strong comedic writing that stands out from other dating sims on the market. Dialtown’s visuals aren’t just different, its writing is just as out-there!
• Being able to explore the city of Dialtown when not actively dating, and meddle with its citizens’ lives!
• Several romance routes with multiple endings. The things you say and do matter! (The game has 26 endings!)
• A full OST composed by the acclaimed Nathan Hanover of NH’s Synthonic Orchestra.
• The ability to hunt for Bigfoot.*

(*We can make no guarantees about Bigfoot’s whereabouts at this time.)

So, you gonna buy it? What, you some sort of SPINELESS COWARD?! ‘Course you are! After all, I’ve got a KNIFE in my right hand, so you don’t exactly have a choice now, do ya? WALLET. HAND IT OVER.

Anyway, enjoy this fun, no cords-attached* phone-based romp.

Reviews

“Its aesthetic is well executed. Its flavor of humor seeps into all facets of the UI and even the music.”
8/10 – Destructoid

“i have never felt more afraid in my entire fucking life”
N/A – Actual player-refund note for Dialtown

“Ya know, Dog, you make hell feel like limbo and heaven like a public restroom. Thanks”
N/A – My Friend (speaking more so about me)