PHPM

About This Game

This is LITERALLY just a game about flicking a switch. It’s in the title. You, in a room, four pale-green colored walls, stained carpet, and those funky ceiling tiles you definitely imagined punching out when you were a kid.

Are you looking for groundbreaking mechanics? There’s one function in the game – you flick a switch.

Maybe award-winning graphics? Well, it is Unreal Engine 5. But let’s be honest here, the engine is not in the slightest sense utilized to its highest ability in this game.

How about immersive story-driven gameplay? Nope. Not here. Unless you consider the story of you really reconciling with the fact you spent money to flick a virtual switch, when you and I both know you are most likely sitting in a room right now that has a few switches scattered around the walls. Have fun staring at your bank account later, wondering where it all went wrong as you dove helplessly into the immersive world of a 9x9x9 room with ONE SWITCH ON THE WALL FOR YOU TO INTERACT WITH.

Anyways, let’s jump ahead to the key features:

There are none.

Depending on how you judge the “ending” of a game, or how you would quantify your sense of sanity in terms of time spent playing a game where you do absolutely nothing but stand in a single room flicking a single switch as time around you ticks on; endlessly disregarding any sense of desperation for it to slow down so that you may bask in the sanctity of joy for even a brief moment, until hopefully the power cuts out, or someone comes to your aide to end this troubling sense of self infliction — It should take you around 1 – 30 minutes to complete the game.

Buy it, don’t buy it. Totally your decision. This game will not keep you up at night, nor will it have you beckoning for more; but if for some reason it does butter your cups, douse your daisies in oil, or roll your drums, then I may consider you take some time away from gaming for a short period, or maybe the whole period.

I do not, in any sense of lacking the word, hope that you do not find, to any extent, any sense of enjoyment from this game.

Final note: The selected reviews above are totally not from ChatGPT. They are real, and so are the names of those who wrote them.

Reviews

“Beyond Stunning… Raises the bar for jaw-dropping graphics.”
10/10 – CipherCraft

“Game of the year? More like game of the century.”
9/10 – ZenithGrove

“A world of simulated wonders… reality, reimagined.”
9.5/10 – Cryptigrim